After Camryn was born, I had such a difficult time when other people were around. She was, and still is, a not very easy baby. She's very attached to me. I mean extremely. And that's no exaggeration. And she's very strong willed. I don't use that term willy nilly either.
But. I'm fairly certain I had experienced post partum depression. I was miserable, angry, and, believe it or not, really didn't enjoy or like my family (I always loved them but I didn't like them, does that make sense?).
I've let a lot go. I've worked hard on it. I've let Camryn become herself. I've let Mac become Mac. With a little direction of course. I'm learning to let the control go. Let them be them regardless of my feelings. I've accepted what happened and have forgiven myself for the almost year of darkness. I've leaned to enjoy the sun again.
We're still ironing out the kinks. Learning how to be ourselves.
So I'm hoping to enjoy this weekend again. Be with family and love it. Let my kids play with cousins and love it. Let myself have fun.
So here it goes...along with double ear infections and an eye infection...oh joy! (I told you she hasn't been easy!)
And if you're wondering where this came from...an article showed up on my Facebook a second time today and I've been thinking about this weekend. Coincidence? I think not. God uses our trials to come alongside others. I'm sharing mine.
Here's the article:
"I wish that more people in general took anxiety, depression and PPD seriously. Most who have never suffered simply DO NOT GET IT. And sure, that makes sense. But if you have known someone who is in it, or you sense they might be, BE SENSITIVE. Be thoughtful with your chosen words. Hug them. Take them seriously. Hold back your judgment. Encourage them to seek help. Offer solutions like phone numbers and referrals rather than saying things like “if you would just take a deep breath and calm down…” or my personal favorite “there are many people in the world who have it so much worse than you…"
I took medication after Hannah was born (almost a year after she was born!) to help me cope. I was struggling with getting out of bed, and doing anything really. "God uses our trials to come alongside others." Yes yes. Thank you!
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