Thoughts...For Me...

Recently I posted  about how I was struggling with Camryn not taking naps and it just spiraled into craziness that was overwhelming for me. Well, she's still not taking naps nor is she even close to sleeping through the night. Makenzie hit the terrible twos just about the same time.

Then this was posted on Facebook: When satan steals your motherhood 

It was just what I needed.

I needed to read it every day.

Out of this came a study Breaking Free by Beth Moore. Right now I'm reading the book but I want the workbook when I'm done. It's been just what I needed and I'm only five chapters in.

I've come to the conclusion that I wasn't mothering my children. I was mothering me. I was trying to get my children to match what I wanted. My pride, my insecurities, my faults, my need for control. Everything that was happening was so they would fit my mold, how I wanted my life to be.

And guess what? They are pretty much carbon copies of me. At least Makenzie is. Camryn seems to be a bit more easy going. God help me!

It wasn't working. I was miserable. My kids were miserable. There were tears daily from everyone.

I need to break free of this.

Every day this week has started with these two things being prayed over:

• Satan will not steal my motherhood today.
• Lord, help me mother to my children rather than to myself.

So far I've seen a difference in me. My kids are still my kids. Camryn has yet to sleep during the day or night and Makenzie is still two. But that's ok. I need to be how they need me to be. I need to be a mama how they need me. 

My children are my greatest gift. God's blessings to me. 

Lord, help me be a mama to my girls as they need me. My motherhood is all Yours, satan will not steal it. You have called me to be a mama and I will listen to Your truths rather than the lies of the liar. Help me show Jesus to my girls that they may shine You, too.