Two Months

Dear Abbi,

These past two months have been hard, next month even harder. You missed a lot of holidays and the big one is yet to come. But I know you're with us. Celebrating with Jesus.

I have peace about you being here then gone. A calm. Still heartbroken and miss you terribly, I always will. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you. I think of the things you should be doing, what you should be growing. It's such a blessing, oddly enough, to watch your friend growing inside their mommy's belly like should be. I get to still experience you through them. I know you made sure we'd become good friends with them for this reason.

Sometimes I feel this was all a dream. That you were a dream.

Sometimes I see you in my dreams as a little girl about the age of your sister.

But you're not a dream. You were here, you are still here just as an angel baby.

Angel baby.

I'm a mommy to an angel.

You.

I still love you no matter how many years go by, no matter how many siblings you have. I will always love you and miss you.

Until I get hold you in my arms you'll be held in my heart.